


Akaashi's Cryptid Boyfriend

by yikescaninot



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi's got good timing, M/M, Nobody thinks Bokuto is real, Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-23 17:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17084867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikescaninot/pseuds/yikescaninot
Summary: The subject of Akaashi Keiji’s boyfriend was one that was widely speculated on and brought up every time the Fukurodani alumni uploaded a new picture to social media. The pictures always had Akaashi in the foreground with a neutral expression, and the only thing changing about his pose was that sometimes he held his hand up in a victory sign or thumbs up. The backgrounds were a constant state of chaos, but the subject was never fully visible. The rumours going around their dorm floor were as follows:One; Akaashi Keiji didn’t actually have a boyfriend, but had really hired someone -- and not necessarily the same someone -- to have hilariously horrific accidents to be caught on camera.Two; Akaashi Keiji didn’t actually have a boyfriend, but was really just flexing his impressive Photoshopping skills.Three; Akaashi Keiji actually did have a boyfriend, and he was just that unfortunately clumsy.





	Akaashi's Cryptid Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [volleydorkscentral](https://archiveofourown.org/users/volleydorkscentral/gifts).



> I challenged myself to keep this under 2k and _**I did it**_ (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑  
> I'm not even sure where the idea for this came from but I had a lot of fun writing it. I have this idea that everyone who actually knows Bokuto loves following Akaashi's pictures because of the speculative comments; Kuroo especially loves leaving misleading commentary.  
> It's 100% Crystal's fault that I wrote this, so... I have nothing. Enjoy. (¯∇¯٥)

The subject of Akaashi Keiji’s boyfriend was one that was widely speculated on and brought up every time the Fukurodani alumni uploaded a new picture to social media. The pictures always had Akaashi in the foreground with a neutral expression, and the only thing changing about his pose was that sometimes he held his hand up in a victory sign or thumbs up. The backgrounds were a constant state of chaos, but the subject was never fully visible. The rumours going around their dorm floor were as follows:

One; Akaashi Keiji didn’t actually have a boyfriend, but had really hired someone -- and not necessarily the same someone -- to have hilariously horrific accidents to be caught on camera.

Two; Akaashi Keiji didn’t actually have a boyfriend, but was really just flexing his impressive Photoshopping skills.

Three; Akaashi Keiji actually did have a boyfriend, and he was just that unfortunately clumsy.

Akaashi leaned back in his computer chair, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes with a weary groan. He had been staring at his laptop screen for the majority of the day and he could feel it in the way tiny camels wandered the deserts that his eyes had turned into. He flipped his wrist over to look at the face of his watch and frowned. He didn’t have much time left until he would have to meet Bokuto.

He double-saved his paper, then triple-saved it just to be sure, before closing his laptop. The notification light on his phone blinked at him, and he reached over to clear them but stopped himself from doing so. His thumb hovered over the screen and he snorted in amusement, opening up his social media app to see the latest speculative comments on the most recently uploaded picture.

It was a picture of Bokuto, though one would be hard pressed to tell it was the formidable wing spiker unless they were already familiar with him. It had been from one of the nights Akaashi had spent at Bokuto and Kuroo’s apartment the week prior. Akaashi was in the foreground, toothbrush in hand, and there was a blur of a shower curtain and flailing tanned limbs, the hooks the shower curtain had been hanging from frozen mid-air as they had ricocheted in every direction. It had been captioned “🦉’s solo performance cut short by faulty stage equipment.”

The new comment suggested that it was a new man in the background because the picture posted two days prior didn’t have someone as tanned in it. Akaashi watched three dots as they bounced, indicating someone was typing. Two comments popped up at once. One agreed while the other said it could be due to the lighting of the bathroom.

An incoming call stopped him from watching the thread grow.

“Hey, hey, Keiji!”

Akaashi held the phone from his ear at the loud greeting, then smiled faintly bringing the phone back. “Hey, Kou. Practice let out early?”

“Nah, I ran out saying I had to use the bathroom to make sure you weren’t still working on your paper. It’s date night, you know.”

“I know. I just wrapped up a section and put it away for the night. I was looking at our pictures.”

“Oh? Am I still the Loch Ness Monster of your dorm?”

“If you were capable of taking a good picture we might be able to upgrade you to Big Foot.”

Bokuto’s heartfelt laugh had a smile working its way onto Akaashi’s face. “You know what they say about men with big feet, Keiji?” Bokuto asked, his voice dropping low.

“You spend a small fortune on footwear.”

“Keiji! Anyways, I’ll come to you tonight so take your time getting ready. You probably haven’t moved from your chair all day.”

“You’re not wrong. Go back to practice before you get in trouble. I’ll see you in a bit.”

There was a shout from Bokuto’s end of the line, and a curse from Bokuto himself before the line went dead. Akaashi laughed to himself before opening his social media app again. Wandering into his small bathroom, he scrolled through the feed of pictures.

There was one of Akaashi standing in Bokuto and Kuroo’s kitchen. Bokuto had insisted on making them supper that night -- a horrible idea, really -- and was turning around with plates of spaghetti in his hands. The picture captured the moment Bokuto slipped on a discarded sock, spaghetti flung in the air, everything but the pasta and Akaashi a blur of carbohydrate chaos. The caption on that one read “A trip to Italy with 🦉.” Socks were no longer allowed to be taken off in communal areas other than the bathroom.

Another picture was taken outside and over Akaashi’s shoulder, someone could be seen walking straight into a street sign. It was captioned “🦉 saw a dog on the other side of the street.”

It _was_ a pretty cute dog, if Akaashi was remembering correctly -- a fluffy white thing with patches of brown around its face. He smiled to himself and slipped the phone into his back pocket before leaning over to wash his face.

It took him the better part of fifteen minutes to wash his face, brush his teeth and pick out something to wear. He was busy running his fingers through his hair trying to make it lay how he wanted when there was a knock at the door.

Shirabu stood on the other side of the door, rocking back and forth on his feet. Akaashi arched a brow.

“Did you need something, Shirabu?”

“Don’t you usually leave by now for date night?”

Akaashi hummed, nodding in understanding. “I’m being picked up tonight because I was working on my paper.”

Shirabu’s eyebrows shot up at this. “So we’ll see your boyfriend?”

“That is typically what that means, yes.”

Shirabu leaned back slightly, looking down the hall and flashed someone a thumbs up. Akaashi leaned forward, looking around the doorframe and saw the other four residents of their floor poking their heads out of their rooms.

“He’s been here before.”

“Doesn’t count. You guys snuck in after hours, and he left when we were all in class.”

Akaashi shook his head then stepped back into his room. According to the time on his watch, Bokuto would be arriving within the next ten minutes.

His phone vibrated in his pocket again and he pulled it out to see what the newest comment was. To his surprise, it wasn’t on the bathroom picture but on a picture of Bokuto sleeping. He was on his and Kuroo’s couch, the hood of his University sweater was tugged up around his face to keep the room’s light from his eyes, and a random assortment of books and household items had been stacked on him. Akaashi was, as usual, in the foreground with a neutral expression.  The caption on this one was “🦉 proving that not all owls are nocturnal.” It had been uploaded around nine o’clock in the evening.

Looking at it now, Akaashi figured the bowl of oranges might have been a bit overkill, but Kuroo had insisted, saying it was the cherry on top of the … well, Bokuto. Akaashi scrolled down to see the new comment.

          **k.shirabuu:** unless this is a misdirection, cryptid boyfriend goes to school here??? @yahabaaa @watawatari @futagucci @kkyoutani wdyt?

Akaashi bit back his smile and grabbed his jacket from the hook by the door, shrugging it on.

         >> (17:42) 🦉 Sowlmate:   
                    _walking across the green! b there soon!♡_

At the text, he stepped out into the hallway, locking his door behind himself and made his way to the stairwell door at the end of the hall.

“Akaashi-kun, aren’t you going to wait for your boyfriend here?” Yahaba called, sitting on the end of Kyoutani’s bed, probably on lookout duty as Kyoutani’s room had a straight line of sight to the stairs.

“Nope. Bye,” Akaashi called back, waving a hand over his shoulder as he entered the stairwell. He could have used the elevator, given that he _was_ on the fifth floor, but he preferred taking the stairs now that he wasn’t involved in volleyball unless Bokuto roped him into a pick up game.

“Did you _see_ his arms?”

“So tall!”

“He could probably pick us all up and not break a sweat!”

“He was really hot, even with the weird hair.”

Akaashi smiled to himself at the voices that echoed up through the stairwell. The voices disappeared through the third-floor door as he rounded the corner. He could hear Bokuto laughing with someone in the main lobby, and he picked up his pace.

* * *

A picture was uploaded several hours later of Akaashi standing in line by a crepe stand. In the background, a dog walker was trying to pull several excitable dogs off of Bokuto, who was sitting on the sidewalk with his arms around as many of the dogs as he could reach, his back to the camera. Somehow, even though his face wasn’t to the camera, and one dog was covering most of his head, you could tell the wing spiker was having the time of his life.

“🦉 made some new friends. Have not yet decided if I should be jealous or not.”

* * *

“Shh, no, stop pushing! He said they were on their way back!”

“Why do you get to see first?”

“I’m his best friend.”

“Shouldn’t his best friend know who his boyfriend is?”

Akaashi stood at the base of the stairwell and looked over to Bokuto with an amused expression, the voices of his floormates carrying easily on the polished surfaces. He nodded towards the elevator doors a short ways down the hall. A moment later they were stepping out onto the fifth floor, the crowd of aspiring-cryptozoologists huddled around the door to the stairwell.

Bokuto squeezed his hand then walked over to the back of the crowd and looked over their heads into the stairwell. “Who’re we waiting for?”

“Akaashi and his made-up boyfriend,” Shirabu sighed in frustration then whipped around in surprise.

Bokuto raised a hand in a half-wave, smiling. “‘Sup?”  

“Holy shit, you’re real!”

“Holy shit, you’re hot?”

“Holy shit, you all look dumb,” Akaashi cut in, lowering his phone, thumbs moving across the screen.

Various notification tones buzzed from his floormates’ pockets. Shirabu was the first to pull up the social media app and see the selfie Akaashi had taken and tagged them in. In the background, Shirabu, Yahaba, Watari, and Futakuchi were still half-crouched by the doorway, showing various levels of shock on their face as they spun around to face a waving Bokuto.

“🦉 meets long-time fans from the 5B dorms.”

“We’re going to watch a movie now. Please don’t interrupt us.” Akaashi took Bokuto’s hand, pulling him towards his dorm door and away from the others.

* * *

If there was a picture taken that night of Akaashi leaning back against Bokuto’s chest, with their cheeks pressed together and smiling -- no accidents, no mishaps, no blurs of chaos -- no one was ever the wiser.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading. ヽ(•̀ω•́ )ゝ✧


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